Friday, August 13, 2010

I just want to be accepted...but only by being me

This world now is too critical. You can't be the real you, because you'll lose friends, or never get friends, a boy friend, a girl friend...anything. I hate it. I just want to dress like me, and be me. Not have to primp up and make myself look like someone I'm not. That would be wonderful. I'm different, and I'll take it as a compliment. I love sticking out of the crowd, wearing neon, bright, odd clothes. Punk is my favorite. But no on wants to be with a girl who looks like that. Which absolutely sucks, cuz I want the boy to love me or being myself, and not be ashamed of me. I know God isn't, so why does everyone else have to be? Why would God give me such a desire to be different, if everyone else wants me to look the same? I just can't do it. I won't dress girly-girl, I won't wear high cut shirts, low rise pants, or short skirts. I can't stand long hair because it makes me look snobby, and not me. So, that's who I am. I'm not a typical, normal girl. I'm me. I love me, and I know God does, too. And if anyone has a problem the way I am, you can take it to God. He doesn't make mistakes. At all.

Friday, May 21, 2010

No Computer......*sigh*

OK, so you're probably wondering, ' If she has no computer, then how did she do this post?' Well, the answer is because I'm at the Library. I'm not complaining, then Library's great, but I wish we had our home one back. I know this is a test from God, because it's testing all of us. We all are getting irritated, but we're going to have to live. Maybe 'some people' could read a book, or play a game or something. Oh, I have great news.... I FOUND MY DRAWINGS! *confetti, balloons, music* I am SO happy! I drew my first picture in a week, and it felt GOOD! I didn't "find" them, Mom did, but I was so happy, I ran into my room and put them away. lol I'm bringing my comic to my Sunday School teacher this Sunday (which is also the day I sing at night church *gulp!*). I can't wait to color my drawing. I have to say, it's one of my best, besides my comic. I am getting different techniques and everything and they are turning out better than my old ones! *squeals in delight*

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Singing Next Sunday *gut hurts*

OOOO! My guts hurt! Why? Cuz I'm gonna sing Sunday Night next week. I've felt nervous all month, and now, it's almost here....*groan* I want to do it, but just the thought of me probably messing up and blushing redder than a tomato nearly kills me! *breaths deeply* Ok, I gotta relax. I wanted to do this for God, and I'm gonna stick to it. *whew* Sorry, over-reacted. I really do want to do this for God, I do. I just let fear over-take me, and I shouldn't, because God is in control. I just need to calm down and practice hard.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Formspring Stalker

I have this thing called Formspring, and what it is is that you get asked questions (anonymously or not), and you answer them. Well, lately I've been getting questions on what I want ( to put it the way the questioner did)in a "mate". I answer them, but it often makes me wonder who is asking them. I'll never know unless someone says, " I asked it!" *sigh* Oh well, I guess it's just one of those things I'm not goin to know. Plus, it's also show anyone out there what I want in a boy. I wonder if what I want in a boy is what God also wants? Usually, it's not. But it maybe, this time it is. Once again, something I'll never know. I know God has someone planned for me, but the girl in me (the fleshy girl) wishes for a boyfriend.

Saving Grace Church

I went to the Youth Group at Saving Grace yesterday (which I LOVE!), and they are doing Youth Sunday the second Sunday in June (whew!), but guess what??? I'm in 2 skits, singing (hopefully) AND I'm doing a message with Krystl Gardner! I'm a little nervous, but I feel like I have to do this. I want to do this! I'm excited! One skit is short, so it'll be easy. The second is longer and I'm kinda, like, the main character (gulp!). I hope I do good... I want to do this for God. I'm more nervous about the message with Krystl, because with the skits, I won't have to look at the audience, but with the message, I'll have to.

*Voice in my head*
Oh come on, Shelby! This is for God! You can do it. Mom will be there, and Krystl will be doing it with you! 

OK, I'm better. I'm just can't wait. I was worried I wouldn't be able to do it, because it was suppose to be the Sunday of my birthday, and I wanted to be in it. So I am SO glad that they changed it tot he second Sunday! :D :D

Shaky Later!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Youth Group: Mom Worries

*sigh* So I go to Youth Group tonight, and no one talks to me. I don't really mind, but it kills my mom. I don't quite understand it, because it doesn't bother me. I only go for the lesson and some of the games. I don't know why I don't mix in with the other kids, I just don't. Maybe it's God's way of telling me something. Sometimes it hurts that I don't mix. Sometimes I'm grateful I don't mix. I'm like a black (or we'll say neon green in this case! :D) sheep in a flock of white sheep. I don't mind being different, I want to be different. It worries my mom though, but I don't know why. I guess it's because I don't have a lot of friends or something, but maybe that's God telling me I don't need a lot of friends. If I have a lot of friends, I might do
bad things. Last week, in Sunday School, we had gotten to the part of the Bible where it says, " And their eyes were opened and they saw they were naked and sewed fig leaves to cover themselves." And the whole topic got to nudist colonies! The teacher was doing her best to get off the topic, but why do I want friends that are going to talk about that when that verse comes up or even think about it like that? I want friends that are going to dig deeper into the meaning of what that verse means. *sigh* I don't want my mom to worry. I'm fine! I don't need them to be happy. 1. I have God, who could be a better friend than Him?! 2. I have 2 good friends. If that's all God wants me to have, then I'm good. I might want more, but I'll realize that that's NOT what God wanted. I just want to follow God to the ends of the earth, even if that means going to Youth Group and not have anyone talk to me.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Battle Between Christian Bands and so Called " Christian Bands"

There has been a big battle between Christian Bands and Bands that call themselves Christian, but don't write Christian songs on Facebook. I think that if a band is Christian, they should most definately sings songs that would bring someone to Christ, or whats the point?? People are saying that they write a non-Christian song so that people will buy their CD...then there will be a Christian song on there that might bring them to Christ. Some people are like that too. They become worldy, so that they will fit in, then they swithch around and become godly. But I think it doesn't work that way. They could be stuck being worldy because they were in a worldy atmosphere for so long. It's the same for bands. They become wordly for people to listen, then they go to Christian, but they can't seem to because they start to go down in buisness. So they start singing worldly songs. You should always be yourself when your a Christian Band. You should start right off and sing songs that glorify God.